Oh, hello friends.
1 year ago today, I was sitting on the curb outside of my gym, misting as I talked to my parents on the phone. It was my first TFtear, my first TFmeltdown.
A precious, precious memory.
Two weeks into the 2011-2012 school year, I was already at my wits end, a charming location at which I would reside for the 38 weeks that followed.
Location, I hear, is everything.
Two weeks into the 2011-2012 school year, I was doing a lot of yelling and screaming and frustrated grumbling. I was slipping into a deep hole that I wouldn’t dig myself out of until January personally, and May professionally.
What a difference a year makes.
This year, as of Week 2, I like my job. I love my kids (but really this time). There are only a few joining the ranks of Ms. B’s most precious little angels.
There are a lot of reasons for this insane juxtaposition of Years 1 and 2. For one thing, Team 6 has got it going on this year in terms of the ridiculous amount of structure and consistency that we’re forcing on our mostly compliant eleven-year-olds. We have a supportive Assistant Principal, and a group of kids who (so far) seem content to act like human beings, as well as eleven year olds. Furthermore, I’ve been using this amazing online management system (classdojo.com – I am obsessed) which is helping me be the ridiculously positive person who didn’t exist last year. Like I actually solved a management problem by being annoyingly positive. On a Friday. At the end of the day.
Who am I? And where did sad, confused Ms. B go?
Teachers see me in the hallway and comment on the fact that I smile. And occasionally dance. And make up really corny rhymes completely by accident.
My principal, shockingly, likes me this week.
My homeroom (who I see 4 times a day, which is about 3 times too many – let’s be real) got so in to our read aloud of The Hunger Games on Friday that they were literally leaning forward in their seats. There were gasps when we realized that Prim was “reaped” and that Katniss might have to kill Peeta.
Of course some of my most precious ones were still a-chattering. But still. The geek in Ms. B’s soul rejoiced.
I don’t know who this person is, this happy teacher who doesn’t mind the work because she doesn’t mind the job. I don’t know where she came from or how she got here. I don’t know how long she’ll stay, and if she’ll go and bring back her sadder colleague of yore.
But while she’s here, I’m loving her.
P.S. Back to cynicism and hilarity next week. I promise I won’t become one of those incessantly cheery people. Heaven knows that my school, or UMSL, or even TFA will do something annoying that we can giggle about.